Beyond retro

Every bridal magazine I pick up, I am confronted by gushes of: "We chose a vintage theme for our day." In fact, looking back has never been so now - and it seems every wedding is turning its back on the contemporary and taking a trip back in time.

I'm not exaggerating when I say every wedding either. In the past, I have spliced and diced UK brides into two categories: Cookie-cutter and Edgy. And both, it would appear, are obsessed with organising throwback nuptials. The Cookie-cutters are all about creating a "fairytale" (and there is nothing more vintage than a fairytale, given that they all originate from way before the 1753 Hardwicke Act - the law that first introduced the need to even have a formal marriage ceremony). Meanwhile, the Edgy Brides aim for "vintage glamour", whether its 1920's Paris, 1940's Hollywood, or 1960's London that has inspired them.

Well, I have good news. We can end our hunt for antique lace tablecloths, rustic vases and wartime bunting right now, because all weddings are, by their very definition, vintage.

Take a moment to consider the traditions that almost every bride and groom, without even thinking about it, will be abiding by.

Wearing a veil - Having tried a few on, I have been completely won over by veils (I have always looked good in hats.) However, it is believed the reason brides wear one dates back to when most marriages were arranged and there were fears the man might see his wife-to-be before the vows had been exchanged and make a bolt for it.

Being given away - The phrase itself is undeniably archaic and what it means is more dated than a polyester shell suit, yet it is something brides quite happily chat about in the lead-up to the wedding. The clue is in the "giving away" part, as the tradition of the father or brother giving away the bride stems back to when women were seen as a possession ripe for exchange.

To the left, to the left - When the bride walks up to meet her husband-to-be, she will almost certainly stand to his left. But have you ever wondered why? Well, it's actually leftover from a time when the groom would attempt to kidnap his bride, grabbing her with his left arm and using his right to wield a sword. Sometimes, he would ask a Best Man to assist him with the capture - a far more risky duty than remembering a couple of rings.

Something blue - All brides know the Something old, something new rhyme and are swift to incorporate these elements into their outfit for luck. Funnily enough, most prefer to ignore the last line: And a silver sixpence in her shoe. Perhaps a lifetime of bad luck is better than a day of hobbling.

Of course, some vintage traditions are getting dumped, with many brides preferring to leave the "obey" part out of their vows - even Kate Middleton did it. Other customs that seem to have bitten the dust include walking to the church - which was once considered the luckiest way of getting there - with most brides defining vintage transport as a horse and cart or antique car, over their feet.

It was also once considered extremely unlucky to take a husband whose surname began with the same letter as your own, while getting married on a Wednesday was considered the best option:

Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all,
Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses, Saturday for no luck at all.

Try telling that to all the couples forking out extra cash to secure a Saturday!

However, while we may be risking a bit of bad luck by breaking with some of these customs, overall we are, as Kylie Minogue herself would say, Lucky, Lucky, Lucky, as we no longer have to worry about creating that vintage theme - it's built-in.

And if there's any tradition I'd quite like to see brought back, it would be the custom of crumbling the cake over the bride's head. Inviting the guests to do that is much more fun than a chocolate fountain! What about you?