Share, don't compare

This post is something of a continuation of the last. While then I spoke about how magazines and blogs can make you feel panicked by telling you all of the things you should be doing, they can also invoke the green eyed monster.

I, like a lot of others, am keen to avoid the cookie-cutter wedding (huge dress, tiara, fancy car, shouty master of ceremonies - there's nothing wrong with this type of wedding, but I find it a bit daunting) and opt for something less traditional that stands out and also reflects mine and D's personalities. As we get older, we will be called upon to attend more and more weddings each year and no-one wants theirs to blend into a memory fog.

One problem though - I am far from the Edgy Bride. In fact, a quick peek at blogs and posts by Edgy Brides on the web just made me feel even more confused and panicked.

The main reason for this was that all their weddings were so cool. Because they were cool. Indeed, every one of the Edgy Bride weddings I looked at were achingly cool.

Yet there was also an air of the unbelievable about them. Some claimed they had wanted a relaxed wedding: "More an informal gathering really..." Yet I refuse to believe these brides were relaxed as they iced their own cake the day before they got married, painted banners and blackboards to decorate the venue with, made their own bouquets from lace birds and butterflies or attempted to convince their grandmother that spending the reception sitting on a cushion outside a yurt was fun.

The more black and white pictures I scrolled through - showing brides in vintage satin with their hair a little too carefully unkempt, grooms in sunglasses and natty tweed suits posing at a bus stop, bridesmaids wearing un-matching yet colour co-ordinated prom dresses, laughing as they posed in wellies outside a barn, where "close friend" Jonas was entertaining the guests with a few Bright Eyes songs on his acoustic guitar - the more I realised I am not cool. And maybe that's a good thing.

The bottom line is that your wedding day will reflect who you are, whether or not you personally choose the evening's set list, name each table after your favourite films or even invest in huge posters showing you and your spouse laughingly walking your dog by a canal. The venue will be packed with your friends and family watching you exchange vows. When the big day comes it could not be more personal, unique or cool.

If you want to get your craft kit out, start baking or begin scouting for unusual places to have your wedding photographs taken, that's OK too. But if you're just not that kind of bride - and I'm not - sit back and bask in the knowledge that when your wedding day comes, you will be glad having to arrange cup cakes like a pile of Ferrero Rocher is the last thing on your mind.

So, the lesson is not to compare but to share. Your wedding will be individual, but it's OK to take inspiration from others. At the end of the big day, we will all be taking home an album of photos showing smiling guests, a smart groom and a woman in white.