The big question

So far all I appear to have done is worry, moan, stress and moan some more. Which brings us to the big question - why bother?

Not why bother getting married, because that's a totally different question and one probably best answering before you're knee high in chair cover bows. No, why bother having a big wedding? And by big I mean anything over you and two witnesses.

It would be so easy to head to the local registry office or town hall - or even to hop on a plane to Las Vegas and tie the knot in front of Elvis. That way, you would be able to start your married life together free of the hives brought on by desperately searching for favours people won't just leave on the table. And quickie weddings are cool - John and Yoko did it AND wrote a song about it afterwards. (OK, admittedly some of the cool associated with elopement was undone after Kerry Katona exchanged vows with Mark Croft in Gretna Green - but the less said about that the better.)

So, what is the reason we opt to have a wedding, rather than simply get married? Even Kate Moss, usually the barometer of cool for people who feel the need to have a barometer of cool, had a traditional wedding (admittedly followed by a three-day knees-up).

Well, actually there's two reasons. The first is to be able to celebrate your love in front of all your friends and family, and to repay them for all they have done for you over the years with a kick-ass party. The other is the reason that we dare not say out loud. It is that deep down (OK - deep, deep down) we would quite like a day about us. Just a few hours when people are happy for us and celebrating with us.

Because, let's be honest, after the age of 22 it becomes a struggle to get a group of more than ten together (if you're lucky) to celebrate your birthday. And the older they get, the less some people feel like celebrating their birthday, as opposed to hiding under a blanket, eating a Battenberg with a spoon and weeping. Yes, there are other occasions to celebrate - you can have a house warming when you buy your first home (but you'll spend the whole time nearly hysterical with fear the floor will be scratched, walls stained and sofa set on fire). Or, you might be keen to raise a glass after bagging a new job or getting a promotion (but anything more than a few drinks at the pub on this occasion and you risk looking like Elton John in your need to celebrate all things you).

And really, is there anything wrong with wanting that day to just be about you two? I would imagine that by the time all the hard work is done and it actually gets here, you'll deserve it. It's nothing to be ashamed of - particularly when once you reach your mid-20s you'll be attending a wedding practically every weekend. Enjoy your turn because it will only happen once. And if you really want to milk your time in the spotlight, consider writing a song about it afterwards.