Stressed? Don't go to a wedding fayre

I recently attended my first wedding fayre - an occasion I was sure would teach me many valuable things about planning a wedding. It did - don't go to wedding fayres.

OK, there are a lot of draws to wedding fayres, the main one - apart from the free sweets - being that you are able to search and compare all of the local wedding service providers in your area. Of course, you could do that from the comfort of your sofa using Google, but if I had done that this blog would be much shorter and I wouldn't have got A) as many sweets, or B) so panicked I thought I'd start crying among the chair cover stalls.

I say this because, from my one wedding fayre experience, some of the industry peeps out there are at best unhelpful and at worse quite frightening. The problem is, they believe they are experts - which, given that they will have been involved in the planning of dozens, if not hundreds, of weddings, while you are only struggling through one, is probably true. The problem with them being an expert and you an amateur is that, despite you wielding the cash, they hold all the power and will undoubtedly say things that make you feel (if possible) even more stressed.

One woman point blank told me that D "has to wear tails to get married". Does he really though? I know of no law dictating what a man wears to tie the knot in. As long as he doesn't dress up in a fluffy frog outfit I'll be quite happy. Another exhibitor insisted to my friend (also getting married) that although she had booked a venue, organised the entertainment and sent out her invites, her wedding would not be complete until she had also booked a chocolate fountain/magician/palm reader/animal tamer to entertain the guests.

In fact, it was these vendors of 'fun' services who were perhaps the most irritating. One we spoke to explained they would set up a photo booth at your wedding venue, with a fancy dress box, fake beards and lots of 'hilarious' quote bubbles guests could hold up as the alternative photographer snapped away. To sum up, the exhibitor said: "By having this at your wedding, your guests will be able to have some fun."

Now, while I'll agree that the average wedding is hardly up there with Glastonbury festival in the fun stakes, guests are usually, at a bare minimum, provided with a three-course meal, plenty of free booze, great music, some cake and the obligatory favour. Yet today, even that is not enough, because - according to this exhibitor - no fun will be had unless there is a fake photo booth/falconry display/Disney parade going on as well.

So, as you can see, the whole experience only added more points to my list of things to organise, causing me to leave far more panicked than when I arrived. As a result, I hope you heed this warning: if you are a bride of a nervous disposition, enter wedding fayres with caution. My advice? Put on your headphones, zoom around the stalls picking up business cards/sweets as you go and do not stop for anyone! Then return home and peruse your business cards on the sofa while enjoying your sweets. Simple!